August's Birth Story

Thursday March 24^th – 41 weeks

I had been having contractions on and off since 36 weeks. For some reason I thought this baby would come earlier even though all my previous babies have gone past my due date.  Maybe because the pregnancy was so very different I just figured this aspect would be different too and anyway I wanted to be prepared if baby did come early.  Well baby didn’t come early and my mind played tricks on me questioning my confidence in my body and testing me.  I kept asking myself if each set of Braxton Hicks contractions were going to turn into something else.  All of my previous labors had started pretty much the same way and there was no doubt it was it.  For some reason I kept doubting myself this pregnancy. 

My midwife had several people due before me this pregnancy and I had a lot of fun counting down the people who were left in front of me, wondering if my baby would “cut in line”.  Well the morning of Thursday March 24^th, my midwife messaged me that I was “up” meaning all the babies due before me were now born.  It was like my baby was so polite and patiently waiting its turn.

Around 2pm on the 24^th I was standing at the counter drawing a prayer flag for my affirmation wall. I had been having waves and tightness for weeks, they were my normal so I never thought too much about them.  Then I had one wave that made me stand up straight and think “that was different” and I wrote down the time.  Then I had 7 more of those in 30min.  Joe was already supposed to be leaving work early so we could have a date night and reconnect before baby came.  I called him to let him know and we decided to have him leave right away due to his long commute is so long and being on the verge of rush hour.  A couple more contractions and I called my midwife to just give her a heads up.  With having two previous 3.5 and 4.5hr labors I prefer to err on the side of caution and call too early.  I didn’t feel it was time for her to come yet but at least be at the ready.  I also gave my birth team (doula, photographer/doula and friend) a heads up.  Of course after calling everyone my contractions seemed to disappear for a little bit which seemed strange after having so many in a short period of time.  I wondered if I called too soon, but decided to jump in the shower instead.  I had a couple lighter waves in the shower.

After having some more stronger waves I decided to call my midwife and birth team back and have them come.  I didn’t know if this baby would come quickly or not but I wanted to be prepared just in case.  So it was about an hour after my very first contraction that I told them all to head on over. 

               

 

My contractions varied in their intensity and timing, very inconsistent.  Some of the first ones I had to stop and breathe through and others I just kept on going through.  I started to pick up the living room, which was my birth space since my birth tub couldn’t fit in the door to our bedroom.  It was not my original plan and it took a couple weeks of adjustment back when the tub was delivered at 36 weeks.  Thankfully I had time to process and accept the change so I could make the space how I wanted it for this birth with decorations and room dividers.  I started to pick up the toys and clean the counters off and just get all my birth stuff ready.  With Rome I had vacuumed in early labor but thankfully I vacuumed the day before.  Although my waves weren’t terribly strong I could not bend over at all and sitting was not super comfortable so it made picking up the living room difficult.  Luckily Rome and Amelia helped me out as did my doula, Tatiana, when she arrived around 3:30pm.  I don’t remember when Joe arrived home.

My midwife, Stephanie, arrived around 3:45pm.  My in-laws came to get the dog around 3:45 as well.  Logan had soccer at school until 5 so they were going to pick him up and bring him home then.  Melinda arrived around 4.  I kept having waves back to back and I had a tendency to lean forward and several I had to stop for.  I continued to clean up and prepare the space, general nesting things.  Tatiana folded a little bit of laundry for me, just like we did during Rome’s birth, except I was a part of folding in Rome’s and putting it all away.  I had no urge or desire to do so this time.

 

Leslie, my photographer, and Brealin, my student midwife, came around 4:20 and Melinda started braiding my hair around 4:30.  The one thing I had wanted for this last birth was a “birth braid”, I had been planning this since Rome’s birth.  I was sitting on an exercise ball while my hair was being braided and I was rocking back and forth.  It seemed comfortable until I tried to stand up.  Each time I stood up I had a strong pain in my lower back.  I quickly decided to stop sitting on that ball.  I stood up most of the time swaying side to side. 

This birth I actually had snacks and food prepared for my birth team so I remembered that and got everything out and we all just sat in the living room and hung out visiting and socializing. 

My waves were super inconsistent and would come and go in frequency and intensity.  At times I questioned if I had “activated the birth team” too early but then I stopped and thought you never know when labor can turn and speed up quickly.  Rome was enjoying playing baseball outside with Joe while the ladies hung out.  Amelia was hanging around somewhere playing and Logan was still at soccer.  Logan eventually came home around 5:30.  Joe had to focus on taking care of the kids, feeding them dinner and making sure their needs were met which at the time was ok because I was still just chatting with very light waves.  As I was up and down a couple waves were harder to get through and I decided around 6:25 to get in the tub.  I just didn’t feel like getting in it until that point.  I then had a pretty big contraction as I walked to my room to change and that confirmed my decision to get in the tub.

As usual contractions seemed to die down in the tub, where you don’t feel the rise and fall, but actually I felt like I had less contractions.  I moved around a lot trying to find my “sweet spot” in the tub.  I tried draping over the edge, hands and knees, kneeling.  I liked all of those but my feet started to get numb and my knees hurt.  I tried sitting back but I felt like my waves totally stopped in that position.  My body seemed to like gravity helping in positions where I leaned forward but I kept having to give my legs, feet and knees breaks.  I tried deep squatting while leaning against the tub.  This bigger deeper tub was good for that position.  It was nice chatting with my friends aka birth team while just hanging out in the pool but I could not get out of my head.  I just thinking about how long this was taking and how I wasn’t feeling even remotely pushy.  I didn’t even feel like the baby’s head was in my pelvis.  I kept feeling the baby kicking and moving around too much.  I didn’t feel like baby should be moving so much right before it was going to be born.  I kept comparing this labor to Rome and Amelia’s since they were also home water births.  I knew this was not good to do but I couldn’t shut my brain off.  I felt bad that my team was just sitting around “waiting for me” I kept trying different positions and talking to the baby and willing myself to progress faster.  It was a total mind game, much like the last few weeks of my pregnancy.  It was nice chatting and visiting but it was too easy.  I was talking through contractions.  I didn’t have to work yet and that bothered me because I should have been working by now. 

Unfortunately when I changed positions I saw the clock in the kitchen and saw that it was 7:30 and this labor was already longer than Amelia and Rome’s.  I don’t know why that bothered me but it did.  I was so excited to meet this baby and wanted it to be time already.  I didn’t doubt that this was it but I doubted how long it was going to take.  I asked Melinda to cover the clock so I wouldn’t obsess over it. 

I knew I was in my head and Tatiana tried to help me get out and just let go but it was so hard.  I just had a block and couldn’t get through it.  I was so emotional and kept crying which then stuffed up my nose and made it harder to breathe through contractions which then further upset me.   It was really sweet though having my kids there helping me through it all.  They were so loving, caring and excited for the whole process. 

Around 8pm I realized that I wanted Joe there.  He was the missing piece at that moment.  He had just put Rome down to bed and poor Rome was sick with a little cough and cold so he was beyond ready.  He was very needy the whole night so it was a nice break when he was asleep.  It also allowed me to have Joe all to myself.

I realized that I felt like I was being watched since the birth tub was larger than usual and it was in our wide open great room with vaulted ceilings.  I should have said something to the birth team even though they were trying their best to give me my space but instead I just turned toward Joe and embraced him and leaned on him turning my back to my team and the large open room.  It felt comforting. 

I leaned on Joe and just sobbed for a little bit, I just let all the emotion release.  I wasn’t sure if I was emotional because this was our last baby, the last time I’d be pregnant, the last time I’d give birth, who knows why but I just sobbed and couldn’t stop.  The combination of that release and Joe being there helped my contractions pick up.  They were still “too easy” and I tried not to think about that, but I was aware that I was in the tub for quite some time.  I wasn’t that uncomfortable and still didn’t feel much pressure down in my pelvis where baby should have been.  I rubbed my belly, talked to baby and prayed to God to help me get through this block and to be able to meet my baby.  Around 9:15 I decided to start trying vocalizing through some contractions.  Up until this point I was completely silent during my contractions.  I started with some horse lips and light low moans and felt like that was the right thing to do for my body.  Around 9:40 I started with stronger vocalizations and I felt the baby moving down.  I focused on envisioning my body opening up so baby could come out.  I felt myself open up as I vocalized.  It was crazy to be so in tune with my body.  I hadn’t had that feeling with any other labors.  Shortly after I started stronger vocalizations my voice started getting grunty even though I didn’t feel pushy. It started getting harder and I was very uncomfortable and wished for the breaks that I had earlier in the tub.  Then realized this meant I would finally meet my baby and I don’t want breaks.  At 9:49 after a couple of those grunty vocalizations my body started to get the urge to push.  At 9:59 I got strong urges to push and pushed very hard and long without being able to stop.  My team told me I could take breaks but I didn’t want to.  My body just wanted to push after such light contractions earlier.  I was waiting for my water to break.  I shot out of the tub when it broke with Amelia and Rome thinking I shot my baby across the water.  I was prepared for it this time, I would know it was my water breaking.  I pushed and pushed and never felt my water break.  Instead I felt myself opening more and more and a very slight burning and thought this is a head I’m pushing out, my water hasn’t broken yet, the baby is crowning, what about my water.  I kept pushing because it felt good and I knew I was so close.  I pushed the head out and I heard my midwife say something about the head being in the caul and then I pushed again and the body came out.  I was on hands and knees but because my birth tub was larger than usual I was pretty much in the middle of the tub and I saw a leg between my legs and I pulled the baby forward and pulled baby out of the water.  I was finished.  After that crazy last part of labor, I was finished.  I found out later I started pushing at 9:59 and baby was born at 10:08…That crazy hard part of labor was 30 minutes long and I only pushed for 9 minutes. After I pulled baby to my chest I was so relieved to be finished and have this baby in my arms.

I have been so excited to find out boy or girl and I felt like I wasted no time looking once I sat back in the tub.  I snuggled baby to my chest and lifted the legs to discover it was a boy.  I was so happy to finally find out. 

I had secretly hoped for a girl but with that baby in my arms it didn’t matter boy or girl.  I just held on tight to that baby.  I did it.  My last baby.  My last pregnancy.  My last birth.  My grand finale.  He was my prize after an awful, long, and difficult pregnancy.  He was my sunshine after the storm.

August James was born on Thursday March 24^th, at 10:08pm, 8 hour labor.  He was 9lbs 2oz. 

Funny story:

While I was pushing or feeling pushy I remember the kids coming in because they wanted to be there for the actual birth and they were laughing about something.  Thankfully someone on my birth team was able to redirect or quiet them.

(you can see me working hard while the kids are smiling and laughing and Joe is telling them that’s not the best idea right now)

Rome woke up 1 minute after baby was born.  It was so great to have them there to witness their brother’s birth, especially now that they are all older and understand.  They were so excited and they are constantly talking about remembering August’s birth.