Amelia’s birth could not have been more different from
Logan’s, which goes to show how unique each birth experience can be. With Logan, I labored for 30 hours pushing
for 4½ of those hours. I never once
felt the urge to push which made it that much more difficult. I was very pleased with his birth and thought
I had a good experience. Once I became
active in my local birth community I realized I could have had an even better birth
experience. With Logan I was in the
hospital but didn’t use any of their interventions (IV, pain meds, pitocin,
epidural, forceps, vaccines, etc). I had
a quiet dim room, played my birth music mix, used the labor tub on several
occasions, used the shower, the birth ball, the floor, the bed, walked the
halls and most of all used my doulas to the fullest extent. Why did I need the hospital? I basically had
a home birth in the hospital with Logan.
So I chose to birth at home with my next child because I could have
everything there that I would need to give birth, plus a few extras: a heated
labor tub (that I could actually deliver the baby in), my own bed and Logan
could be present for the birth. I could control the lighting, temperature and
music. I could control who was at my
birth: my doula, midwife, midwife apprentice and husband. No nurses changing every couple hours, no med
students, no doctors, just my perfect little birth team. Through the amazing birth community I learned
to trust my body. I heard countless
birth stories of powerful women giving birth at home. I heard them talk about how they trusted
their bodies, how they turned the process of birth over to their bodies and
just followed whatever their body told them to do. I had planned to do that with Logan. I wanted to “labor down” and just go with my
body’s instincts, but after 25+ hrs of labor when the nurse said I was 10cm and
I should push I just did what she said, even though I never felt the urge. This was my biggest fear when I got pregnant
again. I was afraid of the pushing
part. I just wanted it to happen
naturally. I was worried how I would
know when it was time to push because I never felt it with Logan. I never felt that it was time to push. I did push him out, but mostly out of fear of
a c-section. I was told to trust my body
to let me know. But I wanted to know
exactly how I would know when it was time to push. There was no answer except to just trust my
body. I read Ina May’s Guide to
Childbirth and that was my labor bible.
Over the course of my pregnancy I learned to truly and 100% trust my
body. I felt so prepared to give birth
after reading just that book. I had
planned to do hypnobirthing, but I didn’t feel like I needed to later on in my
pregnancy. I felt ready. I was more excited for the birth than meeting
my new baby. I was determined to make
this an even better birth experience. I
was going to trust my body completely. I
would turn my labor over to my body and just go along for the ride. Whatever my body said to do, I was going to
do. I soaked in everything I heard and
learned from 2 years of birth circle meetings and hearing various natural birth
stories. By being surrounded by these
other amazing strong women, I learned to trust my body. I didn’t plan much for this birth. I had to have a few key pieces in place
(midwife, doula and birth tub) but other than that I said “whatever goes” (and
boy is that what happened).
I was still nursing Logan throughout my entire pregnancy. I never had Braxton hick’s contractions with Logan but I had started to notice that every time I nursed Logan in the last few weeks of my pregnancy that I would start to have contractions. 2 weeks before my due date (on a Tuesday) I got the stomach flu. I started having contractions hard and fast. I immediately thought of Rose and Tatiana’s birth stories and prayed the contractions would stop because I did not have the energy to give birth after that. After informing my birth team of the situation I was able to rehydrate and rest and the contractions stopped thankfully. I made sure to recover fast so I had the strength to give birth whenever. Because Logan was born 11 days after his EDD I was just expecting to go past my EDD with this baby. I didn’t mind waiting and frankly wasn’t really ready to have this baby early. I was enjoying every last day being pregnant with this baby and almost hoped to go 2 weeks past my EDD.
1 week before my EDD (on a Tuesday) I had a wonderful
prenatal massage where I told Amy she could push on any pressure points she
wanted to. That night I was sitting at
the bellies meeting and started having very obvious contractions that were
visible across the room. Luckily my
midwife was running the meeting so she could see what was going on. I always thought it funny that no one ever
went into labor on bellies meeting nights J but there I sat contracting off and on
throughout the entire meeting.
Contractions were strong enough to make me pay attention (and make
everyone else pay attention around the room as well). Rose lives near me so Stephanie insisted that
she follow me home, just in case. Of
course my contractions stopped, I believe because everyone knew something was
happening.
One day my friend Amy joked that because I was having so
many contractions when I nursed my son that I would probably go into labor if I
just nursed him all day long. So cut to 4
days after my EDD – on a Tuesday again. I
had been working only 2 hours one day a week for the last month of my pregnancy,
so I had to go to work later that day. I
had my 40 wk appt in the morning and then I went grocery shopping. My mother-in-law was going to watch the kids
while I went to work, so I took my groceries over to her house to hang out
before work. She had to run to the store
so I went with her and when grocery shopping again. After shopping we had lunch. I had a bowl of leftover spaghetti, then I
had another, then 2 pieces of toast…and I was still hungry. Normally during pregnancy I could never eat
this much food at one sitting. It was as
if my stomach expanded (or perhaps the baby dropped!) but I wasn’t thinking like
that because in my mind I still had 1-2 weeks to go (because my son was 12 days
past his EDD). After lunch Logan wouldn’t
go down for his nap. He was starting to
get a cold so I nursed him to sleep on my lap.
Because he was sick (and because I just didn’t want to go) I cancelled
my work clients for that day. We sat in
the chair and nursed and napped for 3-4 hours.
As usual I was having contractions, which I always did when I nursed
him, but around 4:30 I had one contraction that was very different. It spread across my belly and deep into my
back. I sat up and started timing out of
curiosity. Out of nowhere I had 5 strong
contractions in 15 minutes. I decided to
call Joe. Let me preface this by saying
the weeks leading up to this point I wasn’t “allowed” to call or text Joe
because we would think I was in labor.
Now that I am in labor, he doesn’t pick up. After 3 tries, which felt like forever, I
finally got a hold of him and he left work right away (40 min away, not
including rush hour traffic). Right now
I am at my in-laws and I calmly tell my mother-in-law that I am in labor and
need to go home. I ask my brother-in-law
to drive me home (in my car) and my father-in-law is going to follow us to take
my brother-in-law home once Joe gets home.
My mother-in-law is scrambling to get all my groceries and Logan packed
up as I am working through each contraction, which I cannot talk through. On the drive home I called my midwife,
Stephanie, at 5pm. She doesn’t answer at
first, then I call my doula, Tatiana, and she doesn’t answer at first. Really people?!?! Of course they both
responded minutes later but in labor-land it seemed a lot longer. I was just giving them each a heads up. I told Tatiana to come over but not to rush
over (obviously this is going to be a long labor like last time!). Stephanie told me to call her in an hour to
update her with how I was doing. When I
got home (around 5:15pm) my BIL and FIL watched Logan as I cleaned up the house
and put all of my groceries away all while stopping every couple minutes to
work through contractions. All I can
think of is getting into my birth tub but first I have to do this or that. I knew people were coming over so I had to
straighten up because I wasn’t expecting any guests today.
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| My birth candle, surrounded by my birth stones and beads |
Finally I got almost everything ready but I had to get into the tub (around 5:30pm?), I couldn’t take it anymore. All uncomfortable feelings I had melted away the second I stepped into the warm tub. But as quickly as they melted away, my contractions revved up and got faster with more back pressure. Before Joe got home I called Tatiana back and told her I changed my mind and that I wanted her there now, to not take her time. I was secretly cursing her for living 30 minutes away and not being at my house already. As I labored alone while waiting for Joe, Tatiana and Stephanie I was mad that no one was there yet (only people there were my FIL and BIL downstairs watching Logan). I didn’t call everyone too late, labor was just happening so quickly. Joe got home around 6pm. I had him call Stephanie to come over right away. Then my BIL had to come upstairs and help Joe double-make the bed, right next to the labor tub where I was completely naked. Again not the people I expected to be present for most of my labor!
The pressure in my lower back was so intense that I needed
constant counter pressure from Joe. He
eventually had to get into the tub with me after he got the bed ready, lit my
birth candle and started my music mix. Around
the time Stephanie and Tatiana arrived, my friend Amy texted me asking if I
needed her to come watch Logan. She was “stalking”
Tatiana’s FB page and knew I was in labor.
I could barely talk to her on the phone, eventually I just say “yes!” Meanwhile my BIL and FIL are STILL downstairs
with Logan this entire time (certainly not part of my “plan”). Stephanie and Tatiana arrived at 6:50 and
7pm. I was having contractions every 3
minutes and was still in the tub with Joe.
Stephanie came in so quietly, set her stuff up and kissed me on the
forehead. I was on my knees at this
point, with my body draped over the side of the tub. Tatiana offered me drinks, wiped my brow and
kept giving me words of support and encouragement, cheering me on. From the moment I got in the tub earlier, on
my own, I started making low moans and making horse lips to breathe through
each contraction one at a time. I never
got a break between contractions. I used
everything I learned in Ina May’s book.
I was listening to my body, fully trusting it. I never chose what position my body was
in. My body did it on its own. All I remember doing was making low moans and
horse lips. At this time I still cannot
talk out loud, but the entire time I was talking in my head.
My internal dialogue went something like this:
“My feet are numb in this position…but
I can’t move…oh well.”
“I’m feeling kind of pushy I think…uhhh,
Stephanie and Tatiana aren’t here yet…what was that (grunting)…oh crap…too soon
to be pushy (tries to keep quiet and not make a noise)…just started labor…that’s
a different sound I’m making (more grunting)…try to not make pushing obvious to
Stephanie and Tatiana because it is too early to feel pushy…never felt that
with Logan”
I started thinking and replaying different friend’s birth
stories in my mind, relating their birth experiences and comparing them to each
stage of my own. I also drew strength
and power from each story. At some
point, Joe stopped giving counter pressure for probably 1-2 seconds…”DON’T STOP”
(some of my only words throughout entire labor). “Keep blowing through each contraction…still
not getting any breaks…why is the music mix stuck on only classical…contractions
one after the other…still can’t talk…too intense…spontaneous pushing by my body…stop
pushing body, it’s too soon…no don’t fight it Melanie, trust your body”
(7:20pm)
Jen, my student midwife, was at a post partum visit while I
was in labor and she quickly wrapped it up when Stephanie texted her that I was
“grunty”. She arrived around 7:20pm but
I honestly have no recollection of this.
She just quietly appeared at some point during my labor, bringing with
her more positive birth vibes.
Around 7:40pm, my body changes positions to reclining in the
tub, super uncomfortable, I’m half floating and can’t get leverage, my back
hurts but my body refused to move or change position. Joe and Stephanie try to hold my legs and
provide counter pressure at the same time.
Meanwhile downstairs (unbeknownst to me), my BIL and FIL are STILL here
through all of this – and I am not quiet.
Amy arrived around 7:30ish to watch Logan. Upstairs I start to get breaks between
contractions, and then I think of Amy and Tatiana’s birth stories and remember
what breaks mean… At that moment I
remember that in my quick house cleaning earlier I forgot to put the diapers in
the dryer. I don’t talk the entire labor
but I ask someone to put the diapers in the dryer. Tatiana goes looking for the laundry
room. She runs into Amy, my BIL and
FIL. They ask her if it’ll be soon as I sound like I am pushing (die from
embarrassment) and if they should just stick around because the baby will be
here soon. Thankfully Tatiana sends them
home telling them it could be awhile.
This is around 7:45pm.
Upstairs, I am 100% letting my body take over and tell me when to push and when to just blow through each contraction. I am surrounded by the love and support of my husband, doula and midwives. The lights are dimmed, my birth candle is lit surrounded by my bellies stones and my birth circle beads, my labor mix is on and this is peace. Joe continues to give me counter pressure. Tatiana is cheering me on telling me that I am going to meet “her” soon (at this point no one knew the sex of the baby). Stephanie kisses me on the forehead. My body is doing all the work and I am along for the ride. I focus solely on my breathing, keeping a low voice, horse lips, staying relaxed and open. During a strong push I feel something “pop”. I hope it is the baby’s head crowning and I reach down. No luck, nothing there. But it was my water breaking, 7:59pm. I want to meet my baby. Although labor hasn’t been long, it has been fast and intense and I want to be done pushing. I push with all of my might and birth my baby’s head (and nuchal hand). I felt relief, then after one more big push I felt like I shot her across the tub. I reached down and pulled my baby onto my chest. Relief. Bliss. Love. Peace. Joy. Elation. Tears. Laughter. What an amazing birth. I want to do that again.
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| I just pulled her out of the water and onto my chest |
After awhile (or what felt like awhile), Stephanie asks me
what the baby’s gender is (knowing full well what it was). I looked down and saw red and swollen skin
between baby’s legs. I assumed it was a
pair of testicles. I lifted up the
umbilical cord and realized it was a girl.
I start bawling as Joe hold me and our daughter. Everyone else can’t help but cry as
well.
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| Just found out baby was a GIRL! |
Amelia was born at 8:03pm. Logan came up with Amy a few minutes later
and met his new sister. Amy was dying to
come up during the labor but didn’t know if that was alright. I did want Logan there for the birth of the
baby, but I also did not want my in-laws in the house during my ENTIRE labor and
pushing. Just goes to show you no matter
how much you plan or try to control things during labor, things do not always
go as expected.
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| Logan meeting his sister for the very first time |
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| Gentle big brother |
Amelia's labor and delivery was 3½ hours long
from first contraction to birth. I
pushed for 4½ hours with Logan. Amelia latched on within the first 15
minutes, placenta was born 20 minutes later.
Tatiana cut the cord (she also cut Logan’s) and I was up and in my own
bed an hour after she was born. I tandem
nursed my children for the first time…in my own bed…within 2 hours of her birth…I
love home birth.
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| Tandem nursing |
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| My amazing doula - she has been present at the birth of ALL of my children ;) |
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| My wonderful midwives, Stephanie and Jen |
I Love Home Birth!
